I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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