Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
