hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
