I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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