Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
