you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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