Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
