i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Couch. On fire.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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