How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
