Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
