pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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