I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize