i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
