high people should be assigned attendants
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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