Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
