how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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