hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
