I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
is it fun? or sober?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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