Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
