she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize