It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize