I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he was CRYING into my vagina
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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