how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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