My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
