He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
