just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
