you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
