If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
