For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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