: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
