Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize