I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
