i think i have two assholes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
