I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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