the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
