my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
