You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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