So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
