i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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