What did we do last night that was yellow?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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