Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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