this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
