found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
