They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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