woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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