I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
