well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
