Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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