Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
