I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will be naked everywhere
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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