can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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