just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
