If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
