She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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