on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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