Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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