I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
