I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
