It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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