Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
