And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
