I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
