since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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